Paralysis

There’s so much to see and so much to do in this world. So many things to learn! Over here - science. Over there - art. Ooh, and technology! Not to mention history, and literature, and people - how they work, what makes them tick, what makes them deceitful and lovely and complicated and wanting, and it’s so beautiful to observe them and listen to them and if I take this feeling and put it here and add this colour and play with this gadget I found and move it over there and- …body? Hello? Body? Why aren’t you moving? Oh please, don’t do this to me again. There’s so much to DO, come ON! – "Paralysis" is about ADHD. Specifically, a symptom that’s often referred to as "Executive Dysfunction" or simply "ADHD paralysis," which I struggle with sometimes. When it occurs, I become stuck in a state where my mind flits from one thing to another (often busy with things like social media or reading about a topic that caught my attention), but there is a disconnect from my body. While in this state, I might have a million things I SHOULD and WANT to do, but I’ll find it impossible to translate my thoughts into actions. Whole days can be spent like this. Without knowing the neurological reasons behind it - and even after figuring it out, sometimes - it’s far too easy to mistake this for laziness, or a moral failure, leading to negative spirals of self-blame and anger. This is the feeling that I wanted to capture with this painting. For more about this piece, visit www.siljethorn.com/paralysis.